Relationships, and especially marriages, are not easy to maintain. So, guess what! It’s not a shame to need expert help to keep you and a loved one on the right track. Still, once the decision’s been made to approach a relationship counsellor, the tension between partners tend to rise and your first appointment will seem especially daunting.
Once you choose a psychologist Byron Bay or its surroundings have to offer, there shouldn’t be anything standing in the way of improving your relationship. Luckily, there are some tips to help you get the most out of your counselling sessions.
Both Parties Need to Commit
One of the most important things about relationship counselling Byron Bay couples can tell you, is that both parties need to be completely committed to this journey. Once you’re past the first step—choosing a counsellor—the second thing is to ensure you both prioritise this process in your lives.
It’s very common for one partner to be reluctant to go to counselling. This may be because one of you aren’t willing to try, or because relationship counselling makes you feel like a failure. Sometimes the judgment of others may also play a role. However, you’re more likely to enjoy success if both parties are committed and willing to see this through.
If your partner is hesitant to go to therapy, listen to their concerns without judgment. Once you’ve discussed the concerns, explain to them why you feel it’s necessary and how you can benefit from therapy. You must both understand that marital problems can’t be solved overnight, nor will they fix themselves. Seeking the help of a professional relationship counsellor can be key to safeguarding your household.
Establish Relationship Counselling Goals
Before going to your first therapy session, it’s vital that you and your partner sit together and discuss and establish some goals. Have a chat about the challenges you’re facing and what you wish to gain from therapy.
Here are some questions you could ask during your pre-therapy conversation.
- What kind of issues do we mostly avoid?
- What are our goals as a couple?
- What are our goals as individuals?
- Is our relationship becoming verbally or physically abusive?
This needs to be a calm and nonjudgmental conversation. If conflict does arise, it’s best to wait until your first session where your therapist can guide you through this process.
Be Prepared to Take Risks
Although therapy does have a high success rate, you need to be aware that the outcome can be different than what you’re hoping for. Also, therapy can make you feel vulnerable and uncomfortable.
Therapy will ask you to open up about your feelings during sessions, make changes in your relationship, and make individual changes at the same time. This can be very overwhelming, especially at the outset. However, taking risks—such as being honest about your opinions—is essential to get the most out of your therapy sessions.
Be Prepared to Disclose Personal Information to Your Counsellor
In addition to taking risks, you need to be prepared to disclose personal information and flaws to your counsellor. This could be one of the biggest challenges because many people are naturally defensive and protective.
Before your first session, take some time to reflect on your emotions when it comes to your relationship. Being able to express these feelings during your session will make it easier to state the truth during a session and streamline the process for the therapist who wishes to help you.
This is why choosing the right counsellor is so important. You need to feel safe to share without feeling any judgment. There’s no purpose in going for therapy if you’re holding back due to the fear of being judged.
Be Open to Listen and Explain
Learning how to communicate is one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship. When it comes to therapy, you’ll only get out as much as you put in. Your therapy session is your chance to speak and explain how you feel and why. Don’t think that you’ll take it up with your partner once you get home. The purpose of therapy is to have a safe space to speak, with the help of a mediator.
Furthermore, your spouse needs a chance to speak and explain their feelings too. This is where you’ll need to be open to listening and understanding with no judgment. If your partner’s words remind you of something you wanted to say, save it for your next turn to speak rather than interrupting him or her. Be open to understanding why your spouse feels the way they do and show empathy for those feelings.
In Conclusion
Regardless of the social stigma, choosing counselling over simply walking away is an act many people will respect you for. Now, just give it your all. Make sure you and your spouse are on the same page and be sure to check in with each other regularly about how you’re experiencing the process.
By applying the right principles, you have a better chance of one day having a success store to share with other couples that struggle too.